Thursday, August 20, 2009

Plastic Laser Gun

This was purchased at last year's state fair and lives up to every low standard you'd equate with such a place. It does nothing really, except make loud noises (BYOOObyooobyoooBYOOO), flash red and green lights and irritate everyone who comes into contact with it. It's currently sitting beneath a low end table on top of a Death Star replica and between 2 Storm Trooper masks. What my life has become is a story for another day.

$6 Plastic toy laser gun = one pair of cute plaid earmuffs

Friday, August 14, 2009

Vintage Strawberry Shortcake lunchbox.

Even now, this, in theory is super rad.  A lunchbox that I very well may have owned at one point in my life, complete with random stickers and a Thermos?  I'll take three!  Unfortunately, at $30 a pop, all I could afford at the time was one and without a daycare to attend, it doesn't get much aside from collecting dust particles.  I love Strawberry Shortcake, but this item has put me one stuffed animal away from being the lady with the crocheted tissue box covers...

$30 Vintage Strawberry Shortcake lunchbox = 4 actual lunches at Panera Bread

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

Flower pen.

It's a pen.  It's a flower.  It's a flower pen.   In theory, this was a multi-purpose item:  A beautiful bud when not in use and what I hoped would be my new favorite pen. Except that it does a pretty crappy job at being both a reliable writing instrument and a  realistic looking flower.  Theories are made to be disproved I suppose.  Let the flower pen be a lesson to us all.

$7 Flower pen  =  Three dozen # 2 pencils

Monday, August 10, 2009

Fake fur camouflage hat.

There was a time that I believed I would wear this hat.  That time was last year in NYC...a time I also vaguely recall being at least three glasses of water beyond dehydration.  I blame the hallucinations, leading me to practically freebase cheesecake squares on the street and believe I might be the governor of Alaska someday.  Thank god I won it in a bet about the exact location of Guitar Center.  But what kind of a price can you really put on dignity?

$20 hunting hat = 3 pairs of practical Victoria's secret thongs

Hammond the hand puppet

I know.  Adorable right?  Those googly cross eyes.  That tiny green horn, mohawk thing.  The furry orange eye brows.  Love him.  But this doesn't change the fact that this is a hand puppet, folks, and I have neither children nor a job requiring ventriloquism as a skill.  "Hammond" has been reduced to decorating a mic stand for the time being.

$12 Hand puppet =  A work week's worth of black coffee at Starbucks